I have regrets in life. I believe that those people who espouse that they have none are fooling themselves. No one has a life that is perfect; no one lives perfect days and nights without errors in judgment. I certainly have bungled enough situations to make a Saint wince.
Even now, I look back at times and people passed, knowing that I could have handled things different, with more thought or simply better than I had.
As I get closer to leaving home and going under the big knife, I think of people whose dreams have come and have shuffled off this mortal coil. People I toured with. People I worked with. They were loved ones, all. Should I have called them more? Should I have visited more often? What should I have said and did not?
The latter is the one thing I do not regret. Why?
We toured for a long time with friend, songwriter, producer and bass player John Regan. John is one of the best people you will ever meet, seriously. And John stoutly refuses to say goodbye. He just will not do it. I never asked him why, it is one of those things he has always done and the Missus and I have always simply accepted.
Somewhere along the way I adopted his habit. “Goodbye,” seems so final, so absolute, like something that when spoken can never be taken back. “See you later,” has a much better sentiment to it. It makes you feel like you will see that person again very soon…and in this crazy world, the wish to share more time with a friend or loved one is a noble one, perhaps one of the most outstanding.
So, as I prepare to head off to the transplant center, I have no goodbyes for any of those I love. Only a very sincere, “I will see you later,” for each of you.