Before we get into the latest (and somewhat repetitive) news on the Great Organ Replacement Scene, I just wanted to make a short, very personal statement.
I will never cease to be amazed at the love and generosity of family and friends, both near and far during this medical debacle of mine. The Missus and I are truly thankful, humbled and will never forget how everyone helped us through this incredibly hard time.
Now the latest.
Unfortunately my condition has taken a rather sudden and disturbing decline. The sharp, stabbing pain that shoots through my abdomen has reached not-quite-hospitalize-me levels. Nausea is pretty fierce as is vertigo. Short-term memory is a little lean and I find myself doing a bit of word-searching from time to time. Toss in massive fatigue, annoying weakness, shaking like a leaf and raging insomnia and the little vision of my current plight is complete.
I am certain there are far worse medical conditions to have, however I really do not recommend this one.
The big news is that I made it through the transplant committee process and as soon as some insurance paperwork comes through, I should be placed on the UNOS transplant list. A big step and a big relief since there really were no other options for me.
Now we are getting ready to relocate me within the mandated 4-hour distance to the transplant facility, where I will await the phone call that there is a potential set of organs that match my criteria. The Missus will come up on weekends, as she has not one, but two jobs to maintain, which will be difficult on both of us. In seventeen years we have spent very little time apart, so on top of a chronic disease, we will be apart more often than not for the foreseeable future.
There is no other way to put this, but it is going to suck. A lot.
It goes with the current territory, I suppose. Some things in life are not supposed to be easy and this is certainly one of them. The physical, emotional and philosophical strain is really something else. I have been through a lot of situations in my life. Some were joyous, some were utterly crushing. There were several times when I wondered if I was going to make it through it unscathed and a few times I was not sure if there was a way out at all.
And now this.
So many, “maybes.” So many, “what if’s.” So many possibilities. So much waiting. I wish I had the patience and the grace to handle it better, but I do the best I can with what I have and who I am, and like I said at the top of this little missive…
A lot of help from a lot of people.